So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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