Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
