just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
