I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
