I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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