i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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