You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
