I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
