I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
