Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
