He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
