I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
