I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize