apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
