dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
