Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
