oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
