I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
