i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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