dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
