I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
