This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
