It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to calm my uterus...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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