Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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