If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
