I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
