You're my little dorito
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
