That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
