I got chris browned last night
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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