he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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