How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
