i just google imaged poop.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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