i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
