so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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