were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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