I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
