He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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