So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
