just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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