why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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