woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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