Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
