I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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