is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
