yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
