i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
