Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
