she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
