it's too hot outside to masturbate.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
