Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
